3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
