Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
