he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
