I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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