this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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