so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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