So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Watching her eat just hurts me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
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