Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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