please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
vagina is talking i cant
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
