the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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