You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
