did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
