I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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