the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
