it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize