I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
