yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
