Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
