I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
