Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
