what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
