My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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