I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
