i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
