Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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