do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
