office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
