Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
COCAINE IS GR8
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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