Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
