Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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