Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
