I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
