I wanna passion pit in your ass
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
send nudes
from the living room?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
