I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
