would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
