Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
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Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
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By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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