My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
