I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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