Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
