forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
