my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
