Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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