i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize