The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
