There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
