it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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