Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
