I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm like, not good at living.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize