Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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