Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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