i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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