I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize