Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
