butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
