You smell like stripper and shame
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Alive.
So much puke
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
