Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
