Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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