Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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